You don’t have to be a math genius to figure out that over 10,000 acres burned + 7% containment of a raging wildfire means there’s a lot more burning and a lot more containing for the firefighters to do before “anybody” can say they’re out of the woods, no pun intended.

Y’all see that there! Mm-hmm. 

Timelapse of the #ElDoradoFire from late this morning near Mountain Home Village. @SanBernardinoNF @CALFIREBDU pic.twitter.com/QQg7Y5ZMwr

— SB County Fire (@SBCOUNTYFIRE) September 6, 2020

All of that got started after one family decided that pyrotechnics was a better way to show their appreciation for God blessing them with a new life in their family.

They went to the El Dorado Ranch Park in Yucaipa, California, got their “selfie” equipment ready and then shot off something that said it’s a boy or it’s a girl. Unfortunately for them, the something that they shot off ended up setting the El Dorado Ranch Park ablaze.

After they heard a boom and smelled that smoke, the family more than likely turned around and said, “Ohhh…she did it!” Who the she is, we don’t know right now. But what we can definitely count on is that folks started spitting on the fire, throwing Dasani water on the fire, and stomping on the fire.

None of that stuff worked, though. They ended up having to dial 911 to come put out the burning bushes that they “Moses” up. As to be expected, CAL Fire ain’t too happy about that family adding onto the over 1.5 million acres of land burning throughout the state that they have to deal with.

“Those responsible for starting fires due to negligence or illegal activity can be held financially responsible and criminally responsible,” is what the Desert Sun folks say the Cal Fire folks put in a press release.

I mean, it’s one thing for Zeus to be throwing over a thousand lightning bolts because he doesn’t have anything else to do in a day, but it’s another thing for a group of humans to know that it’s too hot to go out shooting off pyrotechnics that’s going to land on dirt that Apollo’s heated up with triple digit temperatures.

And now, several folks have lost land, their businesses, and their homes all because that one family decided not to use common sense and just eat punch ‘n’ pie to celebrate the new life that God has given to them.

I can also tell y’all without a shadow of a doubt that those over 21,000 folks who’ve been forced from the comfort of the homes to a Motel 6 or Aunt Bee’s shack on the corner are not happy campers. No sir! Unh-unh.

“Traumatized by that whole experience. I’ve left all my photos and that kind of things already packed and I’ve got my trailed hooked up,” is how Brenda Ebrahim told the abc 7 News folks that she’s feeling about the entire situation.

I mean, just look at dat dere, folks. Look at it!

#ElDoradoFire @CALFIRERRU handcrew pic.twitter.com/cVRpQ4S8JQ

— Kyle A (@449photo) September 6, 2020

There you are, sitting at home, looking at Lucifer and then you turn around and see that somebody done brought Lucifer’s domain to your backyard. Dat dere will make the smoke come out of your toenails.

The Cal Fire folks have let the pyrotechnic baby partying fam know that they’re going to have to pay fines and face possible jail time if somebody ends up in the hospital and or in Lucifer’s Daddy’s home or Lucifer’s home.

Cal Fire Captain Bennet Milloy says that they’re testing the device the family used in order to see if it fits the state’s definition of “safe and sane” firework. Because if it does, ohhh buddy, to the pokey the family will goey.

The good news for them is nobody has ended up in the hospital or in the morgue. The bad news is that the heat loves being in triple digits and the wind refuses to stop blowing each and every way.

“These areas are known for wind-shift, which changes the fire dynamic. (It) can push the fire back on you when otherwise you’d be totally okay. A lot of interesting dynamics here. You top that off with the extreme terrain that were dealing with here…it’s pretty extreme,” is what Cal Fire Captain Thomas Shoots told the abc 7 News folks. Mm-hmm.

The lesson in all of this is don’t make yourself an addition to a problem that will lead to you becoming a subtraction because I can guarantee you that you adding yourself to a one that makes a “number two” will lead to you being the one who’s gone.